tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4690874867160668254.post7169381232754076512..comments2009-12-01T11:53:27.157-08:00Comments on crackthestreet: Alcoholismcrackthestreethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15048622530389357163noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4690874867160668254.post-59040919878363540902009-12-01T11:53:27.157-08:002009-12-01T11:53:27.157-08:00FilthyGrandeur Thanks so much for your reply to my...FilthyGrandeur Thanks so much for your reply to my post. Unfortunately my father was an alcoholic too and believe it or not Jack is very much like my father except for the fact that my father did finally beat the addiction when I was around twelve or thirteen. My mother finally put her foot down and told him that is was booze or his family, thank god he made the right choice. Maybe that is why I am attracted to Jack, he has all of the wonderful qualities that my father carried. Hopefully he can also be once that survives this terrible disease.<br />RJ. I am hoping that you follow my blog I am very, very interested in what you have to say. I love Jack very much and can see the good inside him. I want so much to be with him for the rest of my life. I am opened to any suggestions you may have.<br />Thanks so much to all of you for opening your hearts to me. I will look into all that you have suggested.<br /><br />Beckiecrackthestreethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15048622530389357163noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4690874867160668254.post-78308473489504904982009-11-30T16:10:07.950-08:002009-11-30T16:10:07.950-08:00I can so identify with you, and with Jack. I'm...I can so identify with you, and with Jack. I'm an alcoholic and know my girlfriend sees straight through my excuses, but supports me anyway. Supports me in life, and in my efforts to cut back and eventually quit. Without support we don't deserve, I don't think many alcoholics would make it out. Thank you for being there for the people you love, it's where change starts.RJnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4690874867160668254.post-9652638395409728932009-11-29T10:41:30.659-08:002009-11-29T10:41:30.659-08:00my biological dad is an alcoholic. he's always...my biological dad is an alcoholic. he's always been that way, since before i was born. he showed up to my custody hearing drunk, which made it all that easier for the judge to award custody to my mom.<br /><br />i have spent my entire life loving him, and simultaneously hating what he does. my best memories of him are all before 11am (pre-"cocktail hour") because those are the only times that he's sober. when he's sober, he listens to me. he's a dad. but when he drinks, he's the life of the party and every day is a party. and by life of the party i mean he makes jokes, but they're about all of us present. he'll ridicule everyone, make even his daughter feel worthless to make a joke (and it's all fun, cuz it's jokes, right?). and then there's the sudden anger. <br /><br />i try very hard to pinpoint exactly how the anger happens, but i can't. there's no trigger except that he's drunk and prone to anger. and after all the years of trying to get him to realize he has a problem, that it's not okay to choose drinking over going out with friends, or familial relationships, or even romantic ones (he's been divorced more than 17 years, and only dated twice in that time). i can't get him to understand that verbal abuse is still abuse, and his drinking is the root of the problem. i've felt little guilt recently from walking away. i go months without talking to him because i can't handle his moods. i had to walk away for my own mental health. i'm at a point now where i acknowledge that i love my dad but only out of biological obligation. he's never been the dad i needed. he's never realized that his drinking is very selfish because it takes priority over everything. and i feel bad that i just can't care about him anymore because he doesn't care about himself or anyone else, but i've tried for so long to get him to realize it. maybe it's just easier to walk away from a parent. and i think it was easier for my mom to walk away from him because he wasn't sober enough for her to have any kind of "good" day with him. his constant verbal abuse was just too much. <br /><br />yeah, it's tough knowing that someone you love loves booze more than you. i don't know if any of this helps beyond knowing that there are others who have some understanding of your dilemma. some people are very capable of changing, and some aren't i suppose.FilthyGrandeurhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08939478425921080818noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4690874867160668254.post-65574223809559310952009-11-28T11:10:22.155-08:002009-11-28T11:10:22.155-08:00Here from Renee's link, too. I have no solutio...Here from Renee's link, too. I have no solutions to offer. I found Al-Anon helpful for learning to sort out what's my side of the problem and what's his. My best wishes for peace for all four of you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4690874867160668254.post-38512540305642226582009-11-25T22:04:36.841-08:002009-11-25T22:04:36.841-08:00I came here from FWD. My father is an alcoholic, s...I came here from FWD. My father is an alcoholic, so this post really hit home. I don't have any advice to offer, but I just wanted to say that I hope things get better for you and Jack.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4690874867160668254.post-34735238799029764292009-11-25T18:23:05.576-08:002009-11-25T18:23:05.576-08:00Also here via Renee's link.
Loving an alcohol...Also here via Renee's link.<br /><br />Loving an alcoholic is very sad. There are usually not any happy outcomes. Even if the alcoholic manages to stop drinking they will need to do a lot of work to rehabilitate their life. Most never stop and many who try -- off and on -- will not make the necessary changes. <br /><br />This problem is a whole lot bigger than any possibility of your managing it. Love actually can be redemptive but it has to be him finding an idea that compels him from within himself to change. <br /><br />You described an alcoholic's decision to drink absolutely spot-on. That is exactly the point at which it is too late. Skipping the odd Monday doesn't mean a thing because his judgement remains under the influence.<br /><br />My only advice would be to get your hands on a copy of the book Alcoholics Anonymous. It is written in an old fashioned style but it will absolutely help you understand this disease. <br /><br />This is advice for you. If he wants to stop drinking, he could check it out. I know some lives it has saved.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4690874867160668254.post-58535435657530370802009-11-24T05:17:13.454-08:002009-11-24T05:17:13.454-08:00Thank you everyone for your input. I shall keep y...Thank you everyone for your input. I shall keep you informed on the progress. I will be speaking with him but I know that it will be a lengthy conversation considering he will be in total denial. I think him getting help would be great but I am almost 100% sure that he will not get professional help and would most likely try to do it on his own. If he even really wants to completely stop that is. I am very apprehensive at the thought of that conversation that's for sure.<br />Thanks again.<br />Beckiecrackthestreethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15048622530389357163noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4690874867160668254.post-80858614742459277582009-11-23T22:12:07.578-08:002009-11-23T22:12:07.578-08:00Here via retweeted link (from Renee up top). I'...Here via retweeted link (from Renee up top). I'm in a similar situation with a parent right now who has been through varying stages of alcoholism and drug use but it's finally breaking his body down and probably killing him. The most difficult part is watching him struggle and alternately resign himself to fate and keep destroying his body seemingly without any concern for himself or the people he's hurting in the process, his family. I read this post tonight and I just felt helpless all over again (I'm away from home right now) and <i>pissed</i> that I have no concrete answers for you or myself. I do agree with candleman589 about getting your loved one help and keeping him with help though, this has worked for us even if we can't keep my father in help for very long. This has been weighing on my mind since I read it and I just wanted to reach out to you.T. R Xandshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12142370339947719352noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4690874867160668254.post-77212855816741716712009-11-23T21:21:36.159-08:002009-11-23T21:21:36.159-08:00I think the most important thing would be to get h...I think the most important thing would be to get him help, and to have him stay in help for a long time. People get confused about how long to stay in recovery. The hardest part is when they come out of rehab, and they're in an environment that is so disimilar to the rehab, where they not only have no access to their addiction, but one that encourages healthier living. Provide that healthy living, talk to his friends and family, and get him help immediately. I hope this helps. My grandfather ruined many people's lives, and as a result I never knew him. I don't regret that because I doubt I would have been able to see who he was through the alcohol.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4690874867160668254.post-33404035398829488552009-11-23T20:47:38.679-08:002009-11-23T20:47:38.679-08:00Though not quite the same thing, I watched someone...Though not quite the same thing, I watched someone I love dearly not take care of their diabetes and I know it is killing him slowly on the inside. I have watched them abuse food (which I do believe to be addictive) and felt worried. I hope only the best for you and no really good advice to offer.Reneehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16388113393817266374noreply@blogger.com